so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
