i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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