i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We got so high we made milksteak
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
