her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
