that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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