Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize