My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
All I want is dick and wine.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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