ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
