so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
