Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
