I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
