so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
