Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
