I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
