Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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