it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize