he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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