do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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