im about as happy as oj after his trial
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
