He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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