Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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