were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize