I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We need to get me chipped asap
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
