I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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