How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
