Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
