I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
