i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I wish you could order shots online.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
