Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
