if you like me you must not know who I am
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
