I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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