the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
