I think my vagina is haunted
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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