the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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