And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
