also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
