Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize