i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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