I wish I could punch you in the face.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
