It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
