We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
