The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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