I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
