then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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