worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
