You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
