Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
