time to smoke my breakfast
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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