Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
