walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
