i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize