Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
