I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
