he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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