Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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