So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I see more hoeing in ur future
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