It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
