This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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