The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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