These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
