Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
