Whod you bang
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize