Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
